I just have too many thoughts

The time has come, the walrus said, to write of many things...Almost every day of this past semester, I've thought about things that are important to me and are maybe under the title of "daily musings". These musings are important to my own growth and development and behoove me to write them down because then I look back months later (I just read my September post) and realize things like a. "wow, I wrote that post 2 days before I got engaged", and b. "all those things I was concerned about then are exactly the same. How unfortunate". Still I think they're good to write down, and I hate using a pen and a journal, even though journals and thoughts spread on paper is charming and idyllic. My handwriting is anything but idyllic (i think of it as childyllic), which is probably the reason I don't enjoy writing. This was not the reason I decided to make this post. I was thinking today about how I am a mother. Not to children--to Mina. the dog:



I adore her. She is the most precious fluffy being on the planet. And I can hardly handle 2 things: when she has to stay in her cage for very long, and the tail wag that slows and eventually ceases in despair. Today I left the house and closed the door, and she thought she would get to come too. However, I commanded a quick "stay", and left. As I walked to my car, I looked back, and her anticipating tail wag had slowed to barely moving and then stopped. She sat and looked at me with mournful eyes. And though I was leaving for approximately an hour, I felt like the betrayer of puppies. I feel like leaving my crying kids in the nursery will be a picnic, cuz they'll get over it. And whiney kids are annoying anyway so it'll be easy to leave. But dogs are only kind and forgiving and surely furry reminders of God's infinite grace. How do I keep something like that in a cage?

The other thought I had was something Philip brought up. What if instead of adderall, people used horse blinders. That would be awesome. Imagine the library full of hard working students with blinders hooked to their heads for extra concentration. I think all I really need is for Facebook to not exist. Then I would get so much done.



Oh, side note. My attempts at eating healthier have been more successful since that last post. Thanks to Abby's blog: I am much much much more informed about things that are better for you and things that are not. Regular additions to my grocery cart include organic coconut oil (as opposed to olive oil), Ezekiel bread, organic cereal (without high fructose corn syrup), and mostly organic veggies. (if you're going to eat a vegetable, it might as well have nutrients and flavor to its highest potential, minus most of the pesticides)...



Another side note...philip and I are getting married in two weeks. it's me and him. and we'll see if there is any room in our subsistence lifestyle for anything organic. I feel like our pantry will be things like this: